DARWIN'S TURTLE

Harriet made it into the Guiness Book of World Records as the oldest living animal. Hatched on the Galapagos Islands in 1830, brought overseas by Darwin (who named her Harry - sexing turtles was not one of his strengths) she eventually ended up in the Australia Zoo.

Our common ancestor with the turtle lived around 310 million years ago, or 170-million-great-grandparents. Most of the coal we use today came from the giant club moss trees that populated the swamps at the time. For the record, I'm not spouting this off the top of my head - I wouldn't want anyone to think I was smart (an erroneous conclusion if there ever was one). I'm getting this info from Richard Dawkins' great book, The Ancestor's Tale. Harriet would want you to check it out.

If you're interested in purchasing the picture, click here.

(Back on track - another sale. I think the subject helped. Thanks, Harriet.)

BLUEGRASS BLISTERS

The tips of the fingers on my left hand hurt. Why? Look at the picture. In a bluegrass band, you can't just sing, you gotta play something. And apparently, you're not truly a resident of North Carolina if you're not in a bluegrass band. Or at least capable of jamming with fellow bluegrass enthusiasts.

Now, I can sing alright. But the guitar in my closet has been very close to ebay-ification many times because I never learned play. But now, I have to learn because a friend won't let me be "that guy who has a guitar in his closet but doesn't do anything with it like jam with friends." So now I'm trying to learn again. If bluegrass is to NC what boxing is to Mexico, I've just volunteered to be a sparring partner in Tijuana. Oy, Dios mio.

If interested in purchasing, click here.

(Back to the cartoony style, back to selling. This one received my highest bid! OK, I can take a hint.)

JUNIOR AND ME

What's this? Open borders AND a NASCAR fan? That's right, baby. Don't try to fit me in a box. No, seriously. Don't. I'm claustophobic. If you need me to explain the appeal of 43 drivers all going as fast as they can inches away from each other, well, as the poets say, I can't do nothin' for ya, man.

Now, I tried not to be a Jr. fan. It was too easy - everybody likes Dale. I'm more of a great-driver-under-who-doesn't-get-his-props kind of fan, ie, a Kenseth fan. But Dale is one funny dude. Of all the drivers, he's the one you'd most want to hang out with. Gordon is uptight, Stewart is weird (he has a pet monkey, for crying out loud), Kahne would steal your girlfriend, and Biffle, um... his name is Biffle. I can't help it. I'll always root for Junior at least a little bit.

To bid, go here.

(Where all my NASCAR peeps at? No sale again. Methinks this new style is unpopular. Maybe it's time to move on.)

LUCHADORES

It must be all the immigration brou-ha-ha keeping me in this Mexican mood. I, for one, embrace the fact that culture is not stagnant. That's all I'm saying before some Man For A Minute comes after me.

This is my first theme week submission. The theme being 'masks,' not 'hot button political statements.' Although, that would be a good one. Nor is this a plug for a Jack Black flick. It's a mask, for mask theme week. Let me know if you like it. If you don't, well, no hablo ingles.

(Gifted. You snooze, you lose.)

TOLTEC WARRIOR

This is an image I've been meaning to do for a while. I just wasn't sure how to do it (marker, color pencil, etc). After finishing the skull last night, I new I had the style I wanted.

The image is that of a Mexica warrior of the Coyote order - that's a coyote's maw his face is emerging from. Cool stuff.

(Man, what a drought. No sale again.)

MI FAVORITO

OK, amigos mios. I've just completed another skull-themed aceo. How would you like to see the aceo making process? You would? Great! Here's how I made this one:

First, the sketch:

Then, I start to put some color in:

Finishing up the color:

Last, the detail:

Also, I gave my first aceo gift today to someone with hairdryer problems.

Here it is:

Enjoy, and come back soon!

harmoniousjosh

(The skull didn't sell. I wanted to keep it anyway.)

LIMON MAN

LIMON MAN is a tribute to frankenfoods. Personally, I'm a big fan of frankenfoods. Genetic engineering is just plain cool. I'm looking forward to the day I can combine my genes with those of a limon, so I will always be citrusy fresh.

Oh, and this is my first painting EVER without the use of a pen outline. Nothing but paint, baby. History once again in the making.

(No sale. Not too surprised, though. The anti-frankenfood hippy dogma has seeped into the collective conciousness. No worries. You guys will learn.)

CAROLINA SINGIN'

All the BBQ
Begins to cook today
Listenin' to Mike Cross
Sing the night away
Well I sat down on my butt
Dang that man can play

Carolina Singin'
On such a lovely day

The lady and I went to Hog Day in the lovely little town of Hillsborough this past weekend to watch the BBQ competitors start their cookin' and the bluegrass singers start their pluckin'. One of the singers was Mike Cross, a singer/storyteller hybrid. He was a lot of fun, and good ACEO material. He told the crowd one particularly beautiful song, 'Carolina Callin,' was written when on the road in L.A. and was homesick. After talking to a friend back home, the idea for this song hit him so hard his wife could see the lightbulb over his head. I'm going to draw that, I said to myself. So here it is.

The funny thing is, I don't think he ever played the banjo, the istrument I drew/painted. 6 string guitar, 12 string guitar, fiddle, air drums, air electric guitar, but no banjo. Oops. Oh well.

(No sale. Gifted, though. Too bad for you.)

CONDUCTOR'S DREAMS

The other night I was approached by a dude asking for money. On an unlit sidewalk. He had an unusual story: he says he was the first black conductor at the Winston Salem Orchestra, and he always dreamed of performing Beethoven's Something Or Other Symphony in front of the French Revolution Painting, 'Liberty Leading The People' but now he's hit some hard times yadda yadda yadda... I don't believe him, of course. But dang, what a story to come up with. So I ended up giving him a couple of bucks (while prepared to run like crazy if he pulled out a knife - Be Prepared, as the OG Boyscouts say).

At this point, I've received nothing from this transaction. So instead of crying about it, I take the image he sold me and made an ACEO. Why not bid? I've been hit by hard times...

(No bidders. If you would like to purchase this, let me know and I'll relist it on ebay.)

PHARMA BRIDE

Since the wife and I moved down here, we started reading the wedding section of the local paper. These ladies aren't playing around - we're talking debutant balls here. They seem to my untrained eyes to be a little on the frantic side, hence the inspiration for PHARMA BRIDE. Ir is and I, we went down to the courthouse and then had mexican at El Portrero's in Queens. Man, I miss their chile rellenos...

If we did the paper announcement thing, it would go something like this:

Iris and Josh were united in marriage Saturday, March 15. Ides of March indeed. Some legal clerk lady officiated at the courthouse, and handed them the wrong marriage certificate. They were almost Mr. and Mrs. Guerrero. Once that little misshap got cleared up, they had reception at the asian goods store, Pearl River, where their friend and witness bought them a cool incense burner. Iris was a graduate of a midwestern state school, where she majored in English and minored in Women's Studies. Fortunately, she did not become insufferable. The groom, Josh, is a scattered individual filled with self doubt and angst. May they live happily till the end of time.

(No bidders. I'm running out of adjectives here, people. If you would like to purchase this, let me know and I'll relist it on ebay.)

THE HEAD WILL FOLLOW

Just so we're all clear - I'm working in real time now. There are no other ACEOs in my collection that I'm sitting on to sell later. I finished this one about ten minutes ago. And I'm pleased as punch (hardy har har) at the results.

If you ever watch boxing on TV, you will undoubtedly hear one of the commentators say something like 'If he goes to the body, the head will follow.' Punching the body wears out an opponent, and in my opinion, hurts much much worse than getting hit on the head. It's also a larger target that doesn't move as much. Some fighters, like the the legendery Julio Cesar Chavez and the crowd-pleasing Micky Ward, specialize in the left hook to the body. The smart fighter always practices this punch.

This ACEO is based on a picture I took at the gym I went to in Brooklyn. The image was actually taken from a sparring match, but I was having too much trouble trying to draw the guy about to be hit. So he was replaced with a heavybag. Usually, being the heavybag was my job.

(No bidders. Crapola. If you would like to purchase this, let me know and I'll relist it on ebay.)

LUCY'S LAMENT

My cat, Lucy, is annoyed. This dog, Daisy, is the source of her annoyance. I hope she doesn't hold it against me that I've depicted our new dog in this ACEO. Where's the catnip?

So this is my first time ever using watercolor pencils. I thought I'd practice my sketching, and it turned out pretty nice. So of course I thought I'd risk ruining it with a little color. While the pencil sketch looks more like her, I'm pretty pleased with the outcome of this adventure. Notice my attempt to stick with my line gimmick in the background.

Having a dog is an interesting social experiment. Everyone has advice to give. It's great meeting new people and all, especially since we moved to a town where we know absolutely nobody, but man. Needless to say, we're DVRing every Dog Whisperer episode that airs. Which irritates about 50% of our fellow dog owners. Forget Red State vs Blue State. The real battle is between the Clicker Trainers vs The Pack Theorists.

(No bidders. Son of a Daisy. If you would like to purchase this, let me know and I'll relist it on ebay.)

BLUE LUCY

As those who have checked out my ME page already know, one of the reasons my wife and I moved to Greensboro is because we wanted a dog. We got one. She's (Daisy) a mutt/mongrel mix. Needless to say, our cat Lucy is not very happy. So to make nice, I made her the model of this ACEO. Yes, she is that round. More calico than blue, however.

Pictures of Daisy will be on the way once I feel sure Lucy won't get jealous.

(Sold!)

DOME HEAD MAN WITH EYEBROWS

Here is number three of three of the pre-art class harmoniousjosh. This is the last one, my boogy children. Every ACEO after this one will be dramatically different due to my training. Or not. I haven't done an ACEO since the class, so it could be the same ol' same ol'. But hey, life, like boxing, is the theater of the unexpected. One thing you can expect, however, is to be the envy of the ACEO community by owning THE LAST pre art class harmoniousjosh listing.

DOME HEAD MAN WITH EYEBROWS was done immediately after TRIPPIN CHICKEN. I thought I was really on to something. I like to doodle old freaky looking people, in part because it's hard to mess up. It's easy to turn a mistake into a "happy accident" as Bob Ross would say. Man, I miss that dude. And you know what? I'm going to miss DOME HEAD MAN WITH EYEBROWS. What a guy. His naso labials (the smile lines/jowels) are almost reason enough for me to keep him around, hiding him from the world. But Sting would want me to set him free, and I always do what Sting tells me to.

(No bidders. Dag nabbit. If you would like to purchase this, let me know and I'll relist it on ebay.)

TRIPPIN CHICKEN

Here is number two of three of the pre-art class harmoniousjosh. We're talking owning a piece of history here, people. I will never be the same. Last night I dramatically improved my shading technique. What's next? THE WORLD, PINKY. THE WORLD.

TRIPPIN CHICKEN is what started the whole outline thing. Basically I drew a chicken (it was supposed to be a rooster, but it ended up chicken-y), was proud of what I wrought, but couldn't figure out what to do for the background. I didn't want to do the ol' pastoral game. I tried some blotchy watercolor, which you can see if you look closely, but it was still too blah-se. No, this chicken needed something special, like shades of blue outlines. Ooh, trippy, I thought. I like. Cluck, dude.

(No bidders. Aw, cluck. If you would like to purchase this, let me know and I'll relist it on ebay.)

SCRIBBLE SUNSET

I must come clean: I went to my first art class last night. I know, I know, this kind of ruins my experiment, but I would kind of like a little advice from people looking over my shoulder. Also, I really don't know what I'm doing, so if I get a little educated I might be better able to do what I want. It's all about minimizing my angst, people. So if you want a pre-art class harmoniousjosh piece, this is one of three.

SCRIBBLE SUNSET is pretty much what my doodles look like when on hold on the phone. I try to make some semblace of three-dimensionality by piling on a scribbley string. I thought I'd add a little color to it, make it a little more looker-friendly.

I've also started using outsider in my item title as suggested by a buyer. That reminds me of when I was in high school I was cast in a stage adaptation of S.E. Hinton's The Outsiders. The funny thing is, I wasn't one of the outsiders - I was an insider. The main insider - the Soc that gets killed. Dying a violent death on stage is a blast - I highly recommend it. Stay golden, Ponyboy. Do it for Johnny!

(No bidders. Dang. If you would like to purchase this, let me know and I'll relist it on ebay.)

TRIPPIN TRUCK

I gotta say, this little experiment is going great. A cool dude who liked one of my other ACEOs requested I draw a semi. I never would have thought to do that, but I'm really glad I did. Thanks, cool dude! This piece is so far my favorite. I loved drawing it and I love the way it looks.

I hope some trucker looking for mudflaps for his/her (remember Large Marge, from Pee Wee's Big Adventure?) rig finds, bids on, and wins this one. I imagine him/her finding it, exclaiming "Duuuuuude (I don't know if truckers say "Duuuuude" a lot; I know I do. I started saying it to be funny, now it is a permanent fixture in my vocabulary. Dude.)! That's going next to my lucky Buddha charm!"

Thanks again, cool dude, for the request. Please, everyone, give me more! Then I don't have to think about what to draw next. This saves valuable and dwindling real estate in my brain.

(Sold!)

SKULL RAVEN GOTHIC

Today I thought I would venture back into the world of pencils again. For inspiration, I used the business card of a tattoo artist I know. That's where the raven on a skull came from, not the red house with trees. A red house with trees would make for quite possibly the lamest tattoo business card EVER. Or maybe not - maybe that should be my next challenge: to draw a red house with trees worthy of a tattoo artists' business card.

Back to the picture at hand: I think the raven and skull turned out rather nice. The red house and trees were put in as background, but I ended up kind of liking it. I almost wish I drew two ravens, one with a pitch fork and glasses, the other with it's hair tied back. In fact, if you look at the classic picture, AMERICAN GOTHIC, you'll see a red barn in the background. That, I decided just now, is where this raven is sitting on the skull. You'll never look at that painting the same way again. Cool.

(Sold!)

PEACE DUDETTE

PEACE DUDETTE was enraged that I was selling her. After lecturing me on the evils of capitalism (I, ever the gentleman, listened politely), she finally got around to the real reason for her rage: she didn't want to be sold for a penny. Deciding not to point out her hypocrisy, I enthusiastically agreed, and raised the starting bid for PEACE DUDETTE to 1.99.

OK, I may be nuts, but not so nuts that I actually have economic debates with my ACEOs. Yet. Give me time.

My decision to raise the starting price was based on the helpful advice of one of the ACEO community members. Ebay, like life, is an experiment. I shall continue to do so until the nanny state deems it unhealthy/immoral and sends a SWAT team after me.

(Sold!)

PEACE DUDE

So the watercolors and color pencils were making me feel unskilled. Sure, I know I AM unskilled, but I'd rather not FEEL unskilled. Pen doodles are more familiar, as that is my medium when on hold with the cable company. Plus, I actually have a bid on SKULL BOUQUET (*gasp* indeed!), so that's the direction I'm going to go for a while. Thanks, bidder!

PEACE DUDE didn't start out so... pacific. I was trying to draw an ANGRY DUDE, with a raised clenched fist. But the fist looked backward. Probably, as I figured out with my Sherlock-esque skills of mystery solving, because it was. So I added a couple of fingers and voila! ANGRY DUDE was pacified. If only life were that easy...

Anyway, I really like his hat.

(Sold!)

ABSURDO BOUQUET

Let me start off by saying I am well aware so many flowers would never fit in a vase that size. That's why ABSURDO is in the title. Anyway, I wanted to try another still life within the SKULL BOUQUET meme because it's so popular (it has a bid). Do people like ACEOs of big bouquets? Or is it just the skulls? If ABSURDO is popular, that's a point for bouquets. If not, expect more skulls.

I played a little game with this one - I wanted to make it so no two flowers of the same color touch. I was successful in all but one pair. If the winning bidder can find it, I throw in a freebie ornamental trinkit of some sort. If no one bids, I'm keeping the trinkit for myself.

(Sold!)

NOT IRIS

The story is better than the picture. I was adding a little watercolor to my game, and just doodled around the color. This crazy old lady was the result. My wife, Iris, upon seeing this picture gave me a look and asked "is that supposed to be me?" Now, I assure you, the face on this ACEO looks nothing like Iris. To drive this point home, I added the text bubble. I know usually text in ACEOs are frowned upon, but my marriage depended on it.

(Sold!)

WHUPPED

Here's WHUPPED. Funny story behind this one: I was fighting in an exhibition. My opponent was some new guy from Gleason's. He wasn't supposed to be very good, and my trainer asked me to take it easy on him. Hey, I'm a nice guy. No problem. Well, long story short, I got thoroughly beaten. Embarrassingly thwacked. As the title suggests, whupped. This is a drawing of the phone picture I sent my wife right after the bout, hoping to elicit sympathy.

(Sold!)

BOXING PALS

I bring you: BOXING PALS. This is a doodle from a picture taken of me and a kid at a boxing tournament. I'm the bald looking dude on the right. The kid has crazy talent. I, on the other hand, have a talent for hurting the opponent's hands with my face. So now I'm drawing. (PS neither I nor the kid are really blue.)

I wanted to try out the new color pencils my wife got me to keep me out of her hair, and I think I used every color in the box. I'm not sure if I "get" color pencils yet; We'll see how long I stick with this medium.

(Sold!)

SKULL BOUQUET

This is an original, and it's my first ACEO ever! I've always been a doodler, so I thought I'd give it a shot. I HAVE NO TRAINING (which may or may not be obvious - I don't even know that much).

Here's the deal: instead of taking a class, I'll use ebay feedback as my instruction. If a piece is popular (lots of views, watchers, or, *gasp* bids) I'll take that as an indication of being on the right track.

(Sold!)