Something like this:
Saturday, February 24, 2007
Good ol' Fred Bigsby, squinting at stars
He waxes poetic about racing cars
Down roads that were paved by Prohibition
Outrunning the cops to fulfill his mission
To bring home the booze that pow'rful moonshine
"If I make enough money, that girl would be mine!"
But no, instead, he shines shoes at the station
That girl will never look in his direction.
I've been harassed by a fellow eBayer (who shall remain nameless) who notes that in the last two lines, "station" and "direction" don't rhyme. Fine. Here are a few alternatives:
But no, he toils in retail all day
That girl will never look his way.
But no, instead, he rids homes of ants
That girl will never give him a chance.
But no, instead, he works as a miner
That girl's boyfriend will give him a shiner.
But no, instead, he barbecues pork
That girl will only think he's a dork.
But no, instead, he's an art teacher
That girl won't be seen with such a creature.
Hmmm, I think I like that last one.
Percy Walker, billionaire
Hedge Fund man, with great hair.
Oozing green from each pore
Spending money, making more.
With so much green, he still is blue
There's one goal left on his queue.
Will he one day be the best
In the Cartoon Caption Contest?
I'm not sure what the title of this one means, either.
I was in art class waiting for a still life to dry, filling the time working on this aceo. My art teacher, who bears a resemblance to Eugene Levy only when I draw/paint him, saw it and said "Ooh! Zombie love!"
Who am I to argue? Anyway, the topic for this week's IF is COMMUNICATION. It looks to me like this Zombie Couple is having a tiff, and not really speaking to each other. Come on, now. Nobody likes a petulant zombie.
Inaccurate pic of my art teacher:
What goes on between consenting zombies is none of my business.
Thursday, February 22, 2007
OK, so the green was a poor color choice for the background of this one, but I'm starting to figure out how to make things 3-D-ish.
Now if you'll excuse me, I've got royal portraits to paint.
Sunday, February 18, 2007
I mean ...
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
A friend who has been more than generous gets this one. Thanks, friend.
Sunday, February 11, 2007
I know worms don't "run." I don't care. Besides, there aren't enough letters allowed in the designated title space for WORM THAT IS SLITHERING AWAY RAPIDLY.
Isn't nature cruel? Look at the fear this little guy is experiencing:
Yeah, I know. Worms probably don't feel "fear." Man. You're such a stickler.
The crash landing is only the beginning of your troubles.
Such was the case this morning. I'm woken by Iris coming in with the dog. "GET UP! THERE'S AN OWL OUTSIDE!" She then leaves with the camera. "Coffee?" I say, meekly, to the closed door.
I get dressed and go outside. "Take your time," she says sarcastically. I look up, and there he was. To get his attention, Iris says in her best owl impression, "Who cooks for You! Who cooks for You!" Doesn't work. I, however, am the Beastmaster. I know the language of owls.
"Hey, mi amigo! Como esta? Mira aqui con sus ojos grandes!"
That worked. He looked right at me. Then he swooped down, silently, and ripped my scalp off.
Tuesday, February 06, 2007
A fan of the kitties once told me that Francis Bacon's SCREAMING POPE gave her nightmares.
What's stronger: Love for kitties, or fear of Screaming Art?
Monday, February 05, 2007
Saturday, February 03, 2007
What's to say? It's a Jay. I hear them all day. Flying every which way, too scared to land on the moving bird food tray. Dismay! Oy Vay!
This is painted with watercolor, not cray...
Want some... Candy?
See, THAT'S why you shouldn't pop pimples. You never know what they'll sprout into!
Bluebirds for me are the Tom Petty of birds. I've always enjoyed Tom Petty. I wouldn't say he's my favorite, but I never change the station when he comes on the radio. Same deal with the bluebird. It's always a treat to see them flitting about.