FRED BIGSBY

Good ol' Fred Bigsby, squinting at stars
He waxes poetic about racing cars
Down roads that were paved by Prohibition
Outrunning the cops to fulfill his mission
To bring home the booze that pow'rful moonshine
"If I make enough money, that girl would be mine!"
But no, instead, he shines shoes at the station
That girl will never look in his direction.

UPDATE:
I've been harassed by a fellow eBayer (who shall remain nameless) who notes that in the last two lines, "station" and "direction" don't rhyme. Fine. Here are a few alternatives:

But no, he toils in retail all day
That girl will never look his way.

But no, instead, he rids homes of ants
That girl will never give him a chance.

But no, instead, he works as a miner
That girl's boyfriend will give him a shiner.

But no, instead, he barbecues pork
That girl will only think he's a dork.

But no, instead, he's an art teacher
That girl won't be seen with such a creature.

Hmmm, I think I like that last one.

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