KITTY INTERRUPTED

Life is violent. There's no getting around it. Sure, your presence may have distracted the kitty momentarily, allowing the mouse time to escape, but it doesn't matter. It's just a matter of time. We're all worm food in the end.

So can you tell I recently re-watched "The Seventh Seal"? The squire has my favorite line in the movie (paraphrasing): "It's hopeless! Don't you see? I'm trying to comfort you!" Easily one of the best comedies of all time.

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SHABBY SHEIK

Inspired by eBay misspellings in the titles for vintage jewelry.

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ILLUSTRATION FRIDAY: RED

It was all I could do to not make some Commie/Red State Fusion statement. I wanted to paint Dubya with a Che tee-shirt. But I didn't.

I actually have two images, as I squirted out more red paint than intended. The first, good ol' Satan:

I think I'll title this one INCREDULOUS CATTY SATAN (ed. woops - forgot what incredulous meant for a second there). He's looking at you like you've brought the wrong shoes to Hell.

Here's the other red-inspired painting:

How about FREAKY SLEEPER for this one? Title suggestions welcome.

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Happy 27th birthday, Iris.

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TREE #18

I like to think the tree in the distance is aware of the fallen log, and is contemplating it's own mortality. Why should humans be the only ones with angst?

That reminds me: Happy Birthday, Iris.

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TREE #17

I am developing a small stack of ACEOs that are in varying stages of completion. That's putting it nicely - most of them are pretty Gawd Awful Terrible^TM; I'm hanging on to them with the hopes that someday I'll have the talent and know-how to fix them. This is one of those.

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LAWRENCE OF ARABIA IN 24 QUICK SKETCHES
UPDATE: ILLUSTRATION FRIDAY IS SUPER HERO!

Maybe a little bit of a stretch, but Lawrence Of Arabia was a super hero of sorts. Well, at least until the Turkish torture incident... "You have an interesting face..."

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I wanted to draw last night, but Lawrence Of Arabia was on. Sure, we could have DVRed it, but then I'd have to set aside four hours some other time. And it's one of my favorite movies. Why not do both at the same time? So I sketched random scenes while watching. Here's the result. This won't make any sense if you haven't seen the movie recently. Or a few dozen times.

This is my well.

First the guns, and now this.

bad camel sketches

Omar and Alec

If the camels die, we die.

a better camel

How much of THAT is there?

The sun's anvil

waiting for their return

Nothing is written.

Tell them we're coming.

For his pleasure. My mother mated a scorpion.

Did you do it?

Why do you walk?

Who are you? Two glasses of lemonade, please.

OK, we paused it here for Iris to take the dog out. Hence the greater detail. Here's the text: I want to know, sir, if I can tell them in your name that we have no ambitions in Arabia.

Now we are talking turkey, no?

Alec and extra with their booty - a parasol and clock.

They can only kill me with a golden bullet. I must find something honorable.

You have an interesting face. A man can't want what he wants.

Jolly good about the squash court. There may be honor among theives, but none among politicians. He is the same man.

NO PRISONERS! For the bloody papers.

You speak to me of bloodshed? They're leaving.

We are equally glad to be rid of him.

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BLUE GUITAR

Headed to the south, to the land of the pine
I'm thumbin' my way into North Caroline
Starin' at the road, prayin' to god I see headlights.

Those would be some lyrics from the song Wagon Wheel by Old Crow Medicine Show. That's the band in large part responsible for me dusting off my guitar (which is green, actually) and putting it to use. One could argue that they were also an instigator for our move from Brooklyn to Greensboro.

Anyway, here's a guitar. A blue one. Get your's out of the closet - the chords to the OCMS song are G, D, Em, C then G, D, C, C.

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CHEEKY BUNNY

Seems like from time to time I need to put my masculinity into question. Sure, there's a part of me that wishes every paintbrush induced creation would be all cool and edgy. Art that would make the viewer not want to chance upon me in a dark alley, debating between placing a bid or calling the cops. But in reality, I have limited control of these things. So here you go: A cute little bunny with fat cheeks.

Yeah, I could make up a story about how this bunny is wanted in 16 states for armed robbery. I could tell you about the time he was almost caught selling plutonium to terrorists. How he runs an underground market in Trans-fats foods in New York. But would you believe me? Just look at those pudgy, wudgy wittle cheeks!

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TREES #16: LOOK UP!

One of the big selling points of Greensboro for the wife and I were the crazy tall trees. "Dang," I said upon visiting the park, "those are some crazy tall trees!"

Seriously. They're the kind of trees that on a windy day, you're risking life (and limb, har har har) just walking amongst them. Each tree sways like an inebriated choir boy singing O Holy Night. Except these choir boys are several stories tall, and make loud cracking noises as they bump into each other. And they look like trees, not humans. So maybe that image isn't so accurate.

Changing the subject: Hey, look! Pretty trees! Dang, they're tall!

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PORCH DREAMS

Hey look! That's me(ish), sitting on my imaginary porch, playing and singing as loud as I want on my imaginary acreage.

Now git off my property.

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FLOWER BUZZ - ILLUSTRATION FRIDAY

Mmmmm... this flower smells so good, you can SEE the scent. Makes one positively heady. Let's hope the Dudes Eradicating Americanism don't find out about it.

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HAPPY DOG

As many of you know, I have a dog named Happy. Here she is:

As many of you also know, I am fiercely protective of her. Woe be unto the poor creature that so much as makes her yelp. Many woes. Like, 42.

My protectiveness does not preclude me from mocking her, however. She has crazy big ears, and she leaves her tongue sticking out for no other reason than she forgot where it belongs. She falls for all of my card tricks. "Hey, Happy! Wanna play 52 Card Pick-Up? Bwa ha ha haha!

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MARY TRYOUTS

Ah, the Christmas Pageant. It's that special time of year when all the pretty girls in church vie for the coveted role of Mary. Back in the day, I and the other choir boys would run an underground betting circle, taking odds for which Brittany or Dakota or Caitlyn would win it.

Here's a tip: the one on the far right, second row is a lock.

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KALLIPYGOS

My first nude - it's like an artistic Bar mitzvah.

This is my contribution to the eBay ACEO forum challenge, HEART. Supposedly, the heart shape as we know it is really a Greek representation of Aphrodite's beautiful behind. Sounds right to me. I mean, the valentine heart looks nothing like the organ that pumps blood through the body. Here is where I would make a blood-pumping-sexy-butt joke when I was a mere boy. Now, I've got to be a mature mensch.

This image, I should note, is inspired by a painting I found on this website dedicated to Mongolian art.

Let's see: I've got Greek, Jewish, and Mongolian cultures covered in this post. See how a derriere can bring people together?

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CRO-MAGNON MAN

This was long ago. Before teh internets. Before internet dating. He had to have this picture painted of him to give to a cute Neanderthal girl he fancied. Hey, don't judge. We've all been there.

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TITMOUSE

Titmouse: the bird that makes every adolescent chuckle like Beavis and Butthead.

I'll wait till you're done.

Out of your system yet? Good. Interesting Titmouse facts: they are cultural learners. For example, they learned how to open milk bottles to get at the cream back in the day of milk delivery. They also lower their body temperature on cold nights, going into what is called torpor. Basically, they're pretty much dead until morning. Their adrenaline acts as antifreeze. And they have specialized leg muscles that allows them to eat upside down.

"Uh, huh huh. He said Titmouse."

"Yeah! Yeah!"

Sorry. I'm a product of the eighties.

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ILLUSTRATION FRIDAY: PEACE

Another tree. Just doing my part for Mother Earth^TM.

Of course, I'm painting on paper, which comes from trees. With a brush with a wooden handle. Should I feel guilty? No. But that's another economics rant for another day. I'll talk about another hippie topic instead: PEACE.

Peace is acting without violence. Millions of people worked together peacefully to create this tree aceo. How did that happen? Trees were harvested to make the aforementioned paper and paint brush. Groups of people worked together to make the synthetic brush hairs, other groups got the metals out of the earth to make the thingy that holds the hairs in, still others put the brush together.

The paints were made in China by an English company. I've never been to either countries.

I bought the paper from someone on eBay, who I've never actually met. I bought the paint at a local store that offers me more art supplies I would ever know what to do with.

I'll (hopefully) sell this aceo to a customer who shall reap the rewards of millions of people's efforts. Millions of people, working together, without planning, in peace.

Hat tip to the late Milton Friedman, who describes this process better than I in his essay, I, Pencil.

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KITTY SENIOR PICTURE

Kitty hated taking school pictures. Not only would they not let him do the pose he wanted, but they wouldn't allow him to wear his grill. For the unaware, a grill (also called fronts) is a decorative gold mouthpiece. The kitty version isn't gold, but is rather an extension of the lower teeth, giving a feline an added menacing touch.

Schools don't allow grills in yearbook pictures, citing a correlation to gang activity. The real reason, in my opinion, is that they know the fashion will not stand the test of time, and are trying to save their students from future humiliation.

BUT, schools don't have as much control over the Senior pictures. So now kitty can pose as he wishes, and wear his special kitty grill. Ah, the freedom of burgeoning adulthood.

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WISE KITTY

This Wise Kitty is in a rush - claws bared, he tries to spur his camel steed on his way to meet up with two other Wise Kitties. Making his way out of the Orient (Siam, if you please; or if you don't), carrying a gift of catnip for the newborn King of the Mews.

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