311 SPEEDWAY

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ENRAGED BELLYPUNKER

Why is the Bellypunker so mad? Because people are lighting firecrackers in the parking lot and they scare is dog.

Maybe the Bellypunker will chill out a bit once he moves to the country.

Close-up of his dashing countenance:

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WET MOCKINGBIRD

A sonnet? OK!

The mockingbird is wet and wants to eat
Swinging on the feeder in the rain
His staring eye breaks through the windowpane
All the while, pecking at his treat.

His feathers ruffled and all spiky wet
Shaking off in vain attempts to dry
Yet always steady is his staring eye
Engaged in inter-species tete-a-tete.

"What fortune you do have to be inside,
As I eat my wet and meager meal;
Do you have a notion how I feel?
I swear, this rain has soaked me through my hide!"

"No," I thought, as he flew away
"I have no wings, so on the ground I stay."

A close-up of said eye:

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A DAY OF PATRIOTISM

Today, I am proud to be American.

Congratulations, Joey.

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ART CLASS SKETCHES

A slightly better image of Jack, my art teacher.

Some kids, hanging out. Up to no good, most likely.

Some bottles. Hickup.

The groundskeeper at the park in downtown Greensboro.

Jack again, playing the guitar. Deep down, I think he really wants to be a model.

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HAPPY FARMER

Most of the time I start out with a plan, the plan goes out the window, and then I pretend the end result is what I intended all along. That makes doing portraits VERY HARD.

I was trying to do a passable Hiriam Williams for a couple of weeks now. Personally, I don't think I've come even close yet. BUT, I like how this attempt turned out. This has a nice happy farmer look to it. So I've titled it HAPPY FARMER.

Hopefully, someday soon I'll be a happy farmer. More likely, I'll be a neurotic farmer. I will keep a copy of this guy for inspiration.

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PAUSE FOR POSSIBLE NEW HOME PICS

Here are some pics from what COULD BE our property. Iris won't let me post pictures of the actual house because she thinks that would be bad luck (it still has to be inspected). I don't believe in luck, at least not in that manipulative capacity, but I do believe in angry wives. So for now you will have to make do with views FROM the house, not OF the house.

This is a window from this workshop:

Where I plan on creating my lawn sculptures or something. Maybe take up welding. Build my own stock car.

Walking to our pagoda. I will likely turn this into a dojo, where I'll teach Happy Kung Fu.

Our meadow, perhaps where the lawn sculptures will go.

From our porch, the workshop.

Our little lizard friend.

Now all I need is a tractor.

Ach, I can't help it. Iris will have to be mad at me. Here it is, home sweet home:

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THAT AIN'T BLUEGRASS

The kids, looking to the past for their edge, walked into the backroom of the gas station where the old-timers hung out. They, the old timers, have seen it before: the new set proudly pulled out their mandolins and dobros and guitars and banjos (no fiddle? thought Rooster, one of the regulars), proudly playing as fast as they could from their bindered music book.

"That ain't bluegrass," muttered Rooster.

And thus beganeth the lesson.

Here's a closeup of Rooster:

And here's the work in progress:

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ILLUSTRATION FRIDAY: REJECTION

I've been trying to get an aceo done of Hank Williams Sr. Previous attempts have been likened to Pres Bush. The one on the left up there looks like Giuliani. I'm not sure which Republican the one on the right looks like.

Anyway, these are a couple of the rejects. I made a bad ink choice on the tip of the nose on the Giuliani one. The proportions are all wrong on the anonymous republican one. Neither one is as good as my final sketch:

Totally off-topic, but you should go over to GreensboroBirds.com and check out the birds I shot. SHOT.

With a camera, of course.

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HANK PRACTICE

I'm still working on Hank Williams Sr. I've moved his right eye over to a more sensible location, and added some extra shading. No aceos yet, unfortunately. I've tried two to no avail. My ebay store is currently empty - I better get crackin.

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WHAT'S HAPPENING TO ME!?! HANK WILLIAMS SR

All of a sudden I can do relatively realistic faces. Where did that come from? Hope it lasts...

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AJ FOYT #2

Here's another Foyt. This one really looks like this:

... but I couldn't resist photoshopping it yellow, because that is Mick's favorite color.

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ILLUSTRATION FRIDAY: SUIT UP, AJ FOYT

Here's a pic of AJ Foyt, before SUITing up for a race.

And here is the photo I used for inspiration:

See? He looks nothing like Atilla The Hun.

And let's not forget the obligatory close-up:

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ATILLA THE HUN

I'm always showing the wife my progress as I work on an ACEO. It's nice to hear "Oh, look at that! Very nice!" and "That's going to sell for sure!" and "If you're finished, put your pens away before the dog chews on them and ruins the carpet." The thing is, it's important to make sure she knows WHICH aceo I'm working on before I show her. When I showed her the early stages of Atilla, she said "hmmm. Well, I guess I'm not really sure what he looks like."

Not the response I was expecting, I meekly reply, "Some dude named Priscus said he had a big head, small gray eyes, tanned skin, a flat nose, and a thin beard."

"Aren't there pictures of him like, winning races?" She asks.

Then it dawns on me - she thought I was showing her the ACEO of AJ Foyt I'm working on. That has to be the first time that mix-up happened.

"I didn't think Foyt was a Hun," she said.

Here's a closeup:

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ILLUSTRATION FRIDAY: CARS

Junior Johnson, from bootlegger to stock car driver to team owner to Country Ham salesman back to moonshine (this time legit). A true American hero.

Art-wise, I'm trying out the spotty shading technique instead of the crosshatching. Like? Here's a closeup:

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ACEOS FROM BEN

Life is full of unexpected turns. For instance, I did not expect to ever become an art dealer, yet here I am, selling the work of a friend of mine who is too lazy to set up his own eBay account. Or he's hoping to ride the coattails of my meteoric rise to ACEO stardom. Either way, I don't mind. He's giving me 50%. So bid high.

Here are three others, all for sale on eBay:

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GREEN HERON

Ol' Green Heron is steppin out
Steppin out with leg so lean
Don't you holler, don't you shout
He's so good lookin he don't wanna be seen!

Ol' Green Heron!
Ol' Green Heron!
Ol' Green Heron,
Don't be scared of me.

Makin his way down the shore
He spots a tasty frog to eat
His dinner don't know what's in store
Soon his maker he shall meet.

Ol' Green Heron!
Ol' Green Heron!
Ol' Geren Heron,
Don't be scared of me.

I'm going to have to figure out how to make mp3s. Don't you want to hear me singing this stuff? I know you do.

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RED BYRON

Now that GOD OF WAR II has been completed by the wife and I, life can resume.

True story:

Robert "Red" Byron raced in unorganized stock car races in the 30's until he served in WWII. He came home with a destroyed left leg, so when he got back into racing he put on a steel stirrup which was bolted to the clutch. He won.

He was also the first official NASCAR champion.

Here's a close-up:

ILLUSTRATION FRIDAY UPDATE:

The topic is Signs. Since this is a NASCAR aceo, would the sign Left Turn Only apply?

Ugh. That was terrible. I hate the "left turn/NASCAR" jokes. Yeah, I get it. You find NASCAR to be monotonous because they only turn left. Isn't it ironic, though, that the same joke is made EVERY TIME to make that point?

Just saying.

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ILLUSTRATION FRIDAY: NEIGHBOR

I'm all excited about the De La Hoya vs Mayweather Jr fight tonight. So much so that I'm listing another boxing themed aceo even though they never sell. The wife and I are going over to a NEIGHBOR's apartment to watch it, as the Pay Per View price-tag is $75.

The full title to this one is PORTRAIT OF A YOUNG ARTIST DOING NECK EXERCISES.

In real life, it looks like this:

The only difference is it's done on the edge of the boxing ring, not the ottoman. And bored-looking dogs aren't in danger of getting a weight dropped on her head.

I predict De La Hoya to take this one by decision.

UPDATE: Mayweather Jr took the decision. I figured De La Hoya would find a way to connect more than he did.

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