NUTHATCH

Ah, the nuthatch. I finally saw one in our new yard this morning. Our new, expensive yard. I heard their distinctive call first, of course. They sound like some kind of a dog-squeeky toy.

The nuthatch is the clown of birds
With a call too goofy for words.
They honk and they squeek
With bugs in their cheek
A treat for bird watching nerds.

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RED BELLIED WOODPECKER

This one is going into the show at the Tate Street Coffee House downtown. If it doesn't sell there, it'll go on eBay. Or my wall. It's my bird, I'll do what I want.

UPDATE: Haven't done an Illustration Friday in a while. The topic this week is VISITORS. I'd say this one is appropriate, as the red belly is one of our regular visitors to the feeder.

Speaking of visitors, we had some surprising ones in our NEW back yard - TURKEYS.

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DOWNY WOODPECKER

Where have I been? Oh, here and there. Thanks for asking.

Here's a Downy Woodpecker for your enjoyment.

Gotta go. I have a house to buy. Which I can afford, thanks to support from patrons like you.

I feel like PBS.

Except, of course, I'm not taking any public funding.

Speaking of buying a house, I've decided that Radon testing is a scam. Just saying.

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WET MOCKINGBIRD

A sonnet? OK!

The mockingbird is wet and wants to eat
Swinging on the feeder in the rain
His staring eye breaks through the windowpane
All the while, pecking at his treat.

His feathers ruffled and all spiky wet
Shaking off in vain attempts to dry
Yet always steady is his staring eye
Engaged in inter-species tete-a-tete.

"What fortune you do have to be inside,
As I eat my wet and meager meal;
Do you have a notion how I feel?
I swear, this rain has soaked me through my hide!"

"No," I thought, as he flew away
"I have no wings, so on the ground I stay."

A close-up of said eye:

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GREEN HERON

Ol' Green Heron is steppin out
Steppin out with leg so lean
Don't you holler, don't you shout
He's so good lookin he don't wanna be seen!

Ol' Green Heron!
Ol' Green Heron!
Ol' Green Heron,
Don't be scared of me.

Makin his way down the shore
He spots a tasty frog to eat
His dinner don't know what's in store
Soon his maker he shall meet.

Ol' Green Heron!
Ol' Green Heron!
Ol' Geren Heron,
Don't be scared of me.

I'm going to have to figure out how to make mp3s. Don't you want to hear me singing this stuff? I know you do.

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MOCKINGBIRD

I am a big mockingbird fan. I like their attitude. They're scrappy.

Here's a Work In Progress:

And here's a closeup of what might be the BEST eye I've ever drawn:

And here's a poem to work you into a bidding frenzy:

There once was a bird known for mocking
That I'd watch while the clock was tick-tocking
He took on all comers
Through winters and summers
With bravado at times quite shocking

Not my funniest, but accurate, I think.

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GRACKLE IN THE GRASS

When traveling by foot, most birds hop. Some run. A few (of the non-water fowl type anyway) actually walk. Grackles have a stroll that I find quite satisfying. If you're lucky, you'll see one doing a grapevine (that's walking sideways, for those of you who've never seen an aerobics class).

I have to go to work. I'll update with a limerick or something later.

UPDATE: Obligatory poem

Here he is, the bird of the hour
Walking around his piercing eyes glower
His beak is set to make him look dour
As if he has eaten something quite sour
Or heard the phrase "junk bird" from some ivory tower

Rhyming words not used: flower, shower, power, our, wower (as in one who wows). Any others?

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Draft: crow landing

This is the India ink version of the crow below.

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CROW LANDING

Subtitled: LITTLE SPIKEY BALL

In North Carolina, little spikey balls fall from trees during fall and winter. When you're trying to clear the sidewalk with a leaf-blower, they roll in unpredictable directions. Tenants complain about the risk to injury they pose.

I hope someday they manage to genetically engineer a beautiful tree that drops NOTHING.

The crow couldn't care less. He just doesn't want to accidentally miss that branch, as that would be embarrassing.

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CROW VS OWL

ILLUSTRATION FRIDAY: FORTUNE

I had the fortune to see a great horned owl the other day.

The wife and I were walking the dog in the park and heard some crows going crazy. They were mobbing something. Looking up in a tree, we saw the crows hurling their anger at a nonplussed great horned owl. We ran back to the apartment to get the camera. Zooming in, the owl was looking right at us. Very spooky.

Did you know that a great horned owl has enough claw strength to take your face off?

Anyway, here's an ACEO to commemorate the event.

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MONSTER GOLDFINCH

GIANT GOLDFINCH TERRORIZES CITY
by HarmoniousJosh

New York, NY (AP) -- A giant and angry goldfinch went on an angry rampage today on the Upper West Side of Manhattan.

"No comment," said an obviously spooked Mayor Bloomberg.

Ornithologists are equally puzzled, both at the size and behavior of this particular goldfinch.

"They are usually such peaceful creatures," said Dr. Vent. "Of course, they are usually much smaller, too."

One person, Mrs. Birdcliffe, claims to have an explanation for the incident.

"I've seen it before, and, frankly, am surprised this doesn't happen more often. Birds are the descendants of dinosaurs. They ruled the earth with an iron claw. Now, they are called 'cute' and 'precious' and 'dahling.' People treat them like they're fragile little weaklings. Obviously, this goldfinch couldn't take the humiliation anymore."

And the size?

"Steroids, HGH, Creatine, and a workout regimen heavy on the weight, light on the cardio."

When asked what we should do about the current situation, Mrs. Birdcliffe looks askance and says, "What do you think we're supposed to do with a giant goldfinch? Obviously, whatever it wants."

For Sunday Scibblings

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MONSTER GOLDFINCH

Working on aceo ideas. This could be good.

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SUMO VS BIRD

Sumo vs Bird
Depends on the nerd
Obsessed with Martial Art?
Or do little birdies win your heart?
Oh what a treat, you don't have to choose.
The only disappointment is someone must lose.

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ILLUSTRATION FRIDAY: I SPY

Uh oh, look who's discovered India Ink and the Bamboo Reed Pen.

Me. Stop looking.

Here's my first go at it - a bird of prey finding it's next meal. See that little dot in the upper left corner? Dinner.

The fast bird flies by
To find it's next meal
No matter how high
Good eyes, great deal.

Poor little rabbit
Oblivious below
The fast bird shall nab it
Bunny blood will flow.

Nature is vicious
Don't think I am cruel
The rabbit, delicous!
The fast bird needs fuel.

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REFLECTING SPARROW

I suppose you could say this sparrow is"reflecting" in the mossy water. You could. But if you look close, this little dude has a distant look in his eye. Permit me a little anthropomorphization (one of my favorite words. Look it up): he's reflecting on his life thus far, wondering where the time went. Life is short, especially for a little bird. And harsh if you're not rare. Why couldn't I have been an ivory-billed woodpecker, or better yet, a resplendent quetzal? If you cut me, do I not bleed? asks the sparrow. Alas, he's experiencing life as what some would call a Junk Bird. Harsh indeed.

Or perhaps I'm projecting. The sparrow is probably looking at a bug, saying "mmm. Food."

And just to show I do sometimes paint before ink, here's a Work In Progress pic:

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ILLUSTRATION FRIDAY: TOTAL (FREAK)

I was in art class. The assignment: draw a curvy rocking chair on display. I was failing miserably. So when the teacher wasn't looking, I doodled whatever came to mind. This is what came out.

I will accept psychological evaluations in the comments section.

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ROCKING TOWHEE

Because Rockin Robin would have been too easy.

And, the picture that inspired the image is of a towhee, not a robin.

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ILLUSTRATION FRIDAY: WIRE

Because you guys aren't paying THOUSANDS of dollars for my aceos (yet... bwa ha ha ha), I have to have a day job. Thanks, guys. That day job is Groundskeeper/Maintenance trainee. I am learning a lot of good skills, I gotta say. Fixing faucets, changing water heater elements, what happens to the bodies of dead birds. You know, life skills.

The answer to that last one, by the way, is the Groundskeeper finds them, calls his birdwatching wife, tells her what he thinks it is, she sighs irritably at his lack of bird identification skills, and says, "I'll have to see it. Bag it."

Here's how that transaction went the last time:

Me: I found a weird looking dead bird. I think it was killed by a paintball. It has a crest, a cardinal-like mask, bigger than a titmouse, a little smaller than a robin.

Her: A crest, mask, wait a minute - what? A Paintball?

Me: Yeah. There's this fleck of neon orange paint on it's wing.

Her: Are you and your maintenance buddies running around with paintball guns all day, shooting at birds?

Me: No! I swear! I promise I'm not paintballing on the job. Anymore.

Her: Sigh (irritably). Bring it to me.

Turns out it wasn't paint. It was a Cedar Waxwing. They have a little neon pink waxy tip to their wings. No one knows why for sure.

Here are a couple of work in progress pics:

First layer of watercolor over the sketch



More detail, ready for HJoshy inkiness

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MALLARD #1

LOOK OUT!

I mean ...

DUCK!

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RUNNING WORM

I know worms don't "run." I don't care. Besides, there aren't enough letters allowed in the designated title space for WORM THAT IS SLITHERING AWAY RAPIDLY.

Isn't nature cruel? Look at the fear this little guy is experiencing:

Yeah, I know. Worms probably don't feel "fear." Man. You're such a stickler.

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