SEXY BASS CALL ME

Dare #51

My dare:

Paint a FANTASY tropical fish.

Hello, sailor (sexy voice-over: call me). Out in the ocean, all alone(sexy voice-over: call me)? Wishing you had a special friend to show you a good time(sexy voice-over: call me)? Call, 1-800-HOT-BASS. Meet a new fish-friend tonight!

OK, I just creeped myself out.

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And look here! Art to buy!

Need more wittyness and birdwatching excitement? Click this VERY SENTENCE.

BARE IN THE WOODS

This... um... creation is the result of a dare given to me by ayer5922. The dare was - and I quote: to create a tranquil rural landscape being interrupted by something very un-tranquil. I, the Belly Punker, may be beautiful, sexy, irresistable to the ladies, but tranquil I am not.

I, the Belly Punker, REFUSE to be put in a box. My hobbies are diverse. Among them are entomology and nudism. Let me tell you, brothers and sisters, you've never truly looked at a butterfly until you've looked at a butterfly in the NUDE. Ah, the freedom. Ah, the intellectual stimulation. Prancing through the woods, hither and thither, chasing everything from the tiny Dicopomorpha echmepterygis to the huge Phobaeticus Serratipes. Naked.

Own this piece of history by bidding here.

GAUCHO GROUCHO IN GOUACHE

What, you want a funny story with this one? It's Groucho. As in, Groucho Marx, the only man I have ever and will ever vote for president. Dressed as a Gaucho. Painted in Gouache. This was an under-the-table dare by mreas who, like me, seems to have a thing for alliteration.

Here's a couple of Groucho quotes, to get you in a bidding mood:

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.

If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.

And finally:

Well, art is art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water! And east is east and west is west and if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does. Now, uh... Now you tell me what you know.

Gobid. Gright Gnow.

MERANIMALS

I was dared by jediknl1 to create at least 3 different miranimals frolicking in the waves and under them. OK, so the waves are a little minimal. But they're there.

We bi-pedal apes seem to be running the show here at the taco stand called earth ("Says you!" sayeth bacteria). Therefore, I'm thinking for other species to survive, they will have to serve a purpose to us. Earn their keep, so to speak, or join the rest of the 99% of species that ever existed in extinction. I'm not saying this should happen. I'm just guessing this will happen.

So how will our fellow animals make it? It won't be food. That will be grown in gene-vats. It won't be labor - machines do most of that now. It won't be commercials - computer animation won't pee in the studio. No, they will have to exist by amusing us. In the future, we will tire of the internets (or all of the tubes will get clogged). Instead, we'll engage in genetic entertainment. We'll manipulate ourselves and other creatures to appeal to our whimsical fancies.

I bring you a glimpse of the future: the Merbear, Merbat, and my favorite, the Mermoose. What does the Mermoose drink? Mermoosas, of course! Bwa-hahaha.

To bid, go here.

CAT-THA YOGA

This image is the result of a dare given to me by the excellent and talented ACEO artist, jeanze. The dare was to draw a woman wearing a turban of cats, in meditation, sitting in classic lotus position (cross-legged), on a flying carpet in a blue sky. I totally got ALL of that. Boo-Ya.

There are many paths to enlightenment. I travel my path by way of smirking at authority, endorphines, flexing my muscles in front of admiring audiences, NASCAR, the Tour de France, boxing, junk food, playing the guitar (emphasis on the first syllable), and yelling at small children.

For Claire, the subject of my first DARE (that's Doing Aceos Really Emphatically) aceo, it involves a little known form of yoga, called Cat-Tha Yoga. It's much like regular old Hatha Yoga, except you put catnip in your hair. And wait. The trip is apparently so blissful and insightful, that if the DEA, FDA, KGB, CIA, FBI, Fatherland Security, or the RIAA were to catch wind of this, Claire would be locked up in a jail cell just like all the other misinformed citizens who are foolish enough to believe that their bodies and minds are anything but property of the State. Well, just the 350,000 unfortunate enough to get caught.

Needless to say, I'm looking for a Cat-Tha Yoga instructor in my area.

To bid on this item, go
here.