CRAZY CLAWS KITTY #42

I'm a big fan of alliteration. And puns. But this isn't a pun, so let's focus on alliteration for a moment, people.

I was tempted to title this one with all "K's," but decided against it as the acronym would have been inappropriate. I DON'T like acronyms.

So for those keeping score, that's yea for alliteration, yea for puns, nay for acronyms, and nay for supremacist groups. Oh, and of course yea for limericks:

There once was a kitty named Fred
Who loved nothing more than to shred
The ottoman and chair
And cover'em with hair
As he also had a habit to shed.

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Look here! Art to buy!

Need more wittyness? Click this VERY SENTENCE.

Bird nerds, click here.

CAT AND SNAKE

The wife and I were on a walk Sunday morning through the park. We saw a cat playing with something, so naturally being overwhelmed with the cuteness of it all Iris started taking pictures. We get home and, as has become our habit of late, hook up the camera and look through the pics on our TV. The "toy" was actually a snake.

"That's an aceo!" I said.

And so it is.

Here's the work in progress:

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ILLUSTRATION FRIDAY: TOTAL (FREAK)

I was in art class. The assignment: draw a curvy rocking chair on display. I was failing miserably. So when the teacher wasn't looking, I doodled whatever came to mind. This is what came out.

I will accept psychological evaluations in the comments section.

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DEBUFFET-ISH PINK CAT

You knew it would happen eventually.

In my art education travels, I find masters who inspire me. Debuffet, who's all "three dimensions are for suckers," (I might be paraphrasing a bit) makes for a great Kitty experiment. No depth. Two dimensional. Haphazardly, even chaotically, put together. Not entirely unlike me. And yet... and yet you love kitty, don't you?

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SCREAMING KITTY

A fan of the kitties once told me that Francis Bacon's SCREAMING POPE gave her nightmares.

What's stronger: Love for kitties, or fear of Screaming Art?

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KITTY INTERRUPTED

Life is violent. There's no getting around it. Sure, your presence may have distracted the kitty momentarily, allowing the mouse time to escape, but it doesn't matter. It's just a matter of time. We're all worm food in the end.

So can you tell I recently re-watched "The Seventh Seal"? The squire has my favorite line in the movie (paraphrasing): "It's hopeless! Don't you see? I'm trying to comfort you!" Easily one of the best comedies of all time.

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KITTY SENIOR PICTURE

Kitty hated taking school pictures. Not only would they not let him do the pose he wanted, but they wouldn't allow him to wear his grill. For the unaware, a grill (also called fronts) is a decorative gold mouthpiece. The kitty version isn't gold, but is rather an extension of the lower teeth, giving a feline an added menacing touch.

Schools don't allow grills in yearbook pictures, citing a correlation to gang activity. The real reason, in my opinion, is that they know the fashion will not stand the test of time, and are trying to save their students from future humiliation.

BUT, schools don't have as much control over the Senior pictures. So now kitty can pose as he wishes, and wear his special kitty grill. Ah, the freedom of burgeoning adulthood.

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And look here! Art to buy!

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WISE KITTY

This Wise Kitty is in a rush - claws bared, he tries to spur his camel steed on his way to meet up with two other Wise Kitties. Making his way out of the Orient (Siam, if you please; or if you don't), carrying a gift of catnip for the newborn King of the Mews.

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And look here! Art to buy!

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PET-ICURE (IF: HELP)

Someone, please. Help this poor kitty.

The owner refuses to trim this cat's nails because of one incredibly misguided reason: LONG NAILS SELL ART.

Think I'm kidding? Get on eBay and watch this item. Go ahead. Don't even bid, if you can control yourself. And this kitty suffers for it. He used to tread upon soft, cushy carpet, but his claws scratched it all away to the wood floor. Now his toes are cold in the morning. Way to go, cruel art collectors.

There is a way to save this kitty, of course. You could win the auction and give him a trim. Be warned, however: there are ne'er-do-wells about who wish to own this kitty themselves, just to bask in the glorious length of his nails. Make sure you have plenty of cashola in your paypal account.

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And look here! Art to buy!

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WALKING THE CAT

This might take a little bit of explaining.

The Belly Punker needs some exercise. So he decides to take the cat out for walks. The thing is, Mrs. Belly Punker has spoiled the cat. When Mrs. Belly Punker walks the cat, she showers him with treats all the way. Now the cat won't budge without a treat. The Belly Punker, a strict disciplinarian, knows the rules: first exercise, then training, THEN reward. All thanks to the mighty Kitty Whisperer.

Anyway, what you see here is the war of wills. And the A-frame house I hope to one own. On the land near the mountains. With a big tree or six. And a bird feeder behind the house. With no property taxes. Or mortgage payments. What? Oh. Sorry. Drifted off for a minute there.

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And look here! Art to buy!

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CAT-O-LILY

Ah, the Cat-o-lilies are in bloom again. Such a strange flower - suitable to any occasion.

You want crazy kitties? You got crazy kitties. How lucky for you, to reap the benefits of my malfunctioning brain.

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CORNERED KITTY

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CAT-THA YOGA

This image is the result of a dare given to me by the excellent and talented ACEO artist, jeanze. The dare was to draw a woman wearing a turban of cats, in meditation, sitting in classic lotus position (cross-legged), on a flying carpet in a blue sky. I totally got ALL of that. Boo-Ya.

There are many paths to enlightenment. I travel my path by way of smirking at authority, endorphines, flexing my muscles in front of admiring audiences, NASCAR, the Tour de France, boxing, junk food, playing the guitar (emphasis on the first syllable), and yelling at small children.

For Claire, the subject of my first DARE (that's Doing Aceos Really Emphatically) aceo, it involves a little known form of yoga, called Cat-Tha Yoga. It's much like regular old Hatha Yoga, except you put catnip in your hair. And wait. The trip is apparently so blissful and insightful, that if the DEA, FDA, KGB, CIA, FBI, Fatherland Security, or the RIAA were to catch wind of this, Claire would be locked up in a jail cell just like all the other misinformed citizens who are foolish enough to believe that their bodies and minds are anything but property of the State. Well, just the 350,000 unfortunate enough to get caught.

Needless to say, I'm looking for a Cat-Tha Yoga instructor in my area.

To bid on this item, go
here.

CRAZY KITTY

The ACEO Theme for this week is Crazy Cats. So, here's a cat that is certifiably nuts. It all started when he began drawing ACEOS. Became obsessed. Stopped playing with string. Catnip lost it's thrill. The wet food was left to dry in the bowl. He has a problem.

To purchase, click on my What am I selling now? link on the right.

BLUE LUCY

As those who have checked out my ME page already know, one of the reasons my wife and I moved to Greensboro is because we wanted a dog. We got one. She's (Daisy) a mutt/mongrel mix. Needless to say, our cat Lucy is not very happy. So to make nice, I made her the model of this ACEO. Yes, she is that round. More calico than blue, however.

Pictures of Daisy will be on the way once I feel sure Lucy won't get jealous.

(Sold!)